patience

I have never liked someone telling me to WAIT! I think I have been bred to be the most impatient person ever. I tend to find myself always rushing and sometimes I don't even need to be. So the obvious thing I am always faced with is waiting. I had to wait until 18 to have a license and car, 21 to have my first boyfriend, 24 to get my dream job, 32 to get out of AZ, 33 to have our first house....the list goes on and on. God must be thinking when will she learn already??? After all, He always answers my prayers in one way or another and it's always been perfectly timed as He has planned. (in the past I have tried to make things happen on my own and have failed miserably everytime - it's not recommended!)

So while I have found myself impatient again about getting back into music ministry I know it's best to wait on Him. It's been years since I have done anything more with music than dust my piano and sing the ABC's. I have such an itch to do music ministry in some aspect, yet it's not time. My season is here in my home with my kids (I need to nurture thier spirits) and with my community in meeting any needs presented.

If, since i'm getting older by the second, and when God wants me to do music ministry He will make a way. So although it's hard to wait, I will embrace this season I'm in. There are lessons to be learned and character to be built in me that I don't want to miss. God open my eyes to see what you have for me right now in this moment. Slow me down and help me to stay present while I look ahead. And thank you God for being patient with me!

content

Someone mentioned to me awhile back how content my baby was when he was with me. I thought, well, ya i suppose he would be since I do everything for him - right? It seemed obvious since I was his mama. Shortly after God reminded me of that moment when I got some news....

Back in December my baby boy went in for his 4 month check. As I assumed, I had a very healthy thriving boy and all was going great. Then I mentioned to the doc that one side of him seemed a little fatter than the other. I chuckled saying i think it's cuz I nurse him on one side more than the other and gravity has it out of wack. He investigated quietly and did not entertain my poor joke attempt. He mentioned something about the possibility of Hemihypertrophy. So he recommended we go to children's hospital for further analysis. (My stomach and my wheels are now turning and you can bet I was online researching what this was as soon as i could)

Hemihypertrophy in summary is a genetic disorder where there is an enlargement (5% or greater in width and or length) on one side of the body or just a body part. The scary part is that Hemi is often linked with other syndromes that are not good, as well as there being a risk kidney or liver tumors which grow very rapidly.

Finding all this out had me so worried and anxious. Then God reminded me that I needed to be content in Him, as my son is content in my arms. So I let myself mentally climb up into my Father's arms and as I remained there close to the one who holds our every breath, He filled me with contentment, peace and a calm. I did not know the outcome, but everything was ok in the arms of my God.

Come January and we finally get to children's. Prognosis is 3 possibilities. Completely normal, Isolated Hemihypertrophy or Neurofibromatosis (NF). Long story short since we can not rule out the hemihypertrophy we must follow the protocol in checking for tumors every 3 months for the next 8 years. And as they confirmed something we did not want to hear, we were THANKFUL!

How can we not be thankful for so many reasons? First, we were in Children's Hospital and if you ever want a reminder of why things are not so bad in your life, just go there and see all these precious children with terrible illnesses. My heart and prayers go out to those families! Second, my baby will live a normal life and may be only his wife will ever notice his small differences. Third, if he does get a tumor, while scary, the success rate is high in removing it with full recovery.

In all this, I am so reminded that our children are a gift to be treasured everyday since we do not know what tomorrow may bring. And in that daily unknown I have a God who I can trust to make me content.

we have pets!

It all started a couple weeks ago when I was reading a magazine while getting my haircut....
In the mag I read about people owning tea cup pigs. (Pigs seemed like a good idea for us since our girl is allergic to cats and dogs) I thought it sounded cool and when I got home I mentioned it to my husband in front of the kids (MISTAKE!!). I thought I would do some research on it to see what they are all about.
Long story short: the pigs do not stay small like cute little tea cups and we are not zoned to own pigs. Regardless, the kids have been wanting a pet for sooo long and they were devastated that we were not going to have a tea cup pig, which I never by the way said we were getting in the first place! So in order to get my 5-year-old to stop sobbing we went out and bought 2 beta fish. The blue one's name is Jacob and the purple-pink one is Care Bear. It all worked out in the end and we all lived happily ever after!
PS - notice the orange counter tops....yup they're still orange! :)

love notes

My oldest son can be the biggest handful ever; however, deep down he is really the sweetest guy! He likes to write, draw, color pictures, make cards and anything to show his affection towards me and Jesse. Many a nights we will come to bed to find a sealed envelope addressed to us with a precious note inside. While he can not write all he can communicate, we know every etch of it is done with love. My favorite thing is to take pictures of his notes so we can keep them forever! After all one day when he is grown and on his own I will look over these love notes and they will so warm my heart.
SO big boy i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Fum,
mom :)

temporary insanity!

My husband and I finally got out of the house last weekend just the 2 of us.(which does not happen like ever!) After eating a nice lunch we decided to run into a furniture store for fun. We walked in and saw the walnut, brown, leather sectional couch, with ottoman, of our dreams ON SALE! Our wheels started turning.....and before we knew it we were talking to a salesman and actually buying them. I was freaked out, but excited - did we just do this????
It was not long before I thought - what did we just do. Buyers remorse sat on me like a brick and I thought about it all night. See we do not have cash to buy it. We put it on a credit card. My husband does sales = feast or famine. I know financial famine is coming. So sadly the very next day my husband called and cancelled the purchase. Sometimes it's hard to make the right decision, but i'm glad we did. And let's just say it was our temporarily insane moment of the year! :)

past month

Wow! It's already been a month since I last blogged. I really thought I had time to get my thoughts out, but instead they are all piled in my brain. so i am unloading my life over the last couple weeks

Halloween Success
We had a really great time this year with no allergy mishaps, which since last year was a disaster I was very pleased. My mom had given me a great idea to dip my little girl's allergy friendly foods in chocolate as her treats - genious! So here's a pic of Aunt Stacy (visiting from AZ) dipping fruit, marshmellows, pretzels, rasins and crasins with the kids. And thanks mom - clearly we have a new tradition in our house! Christi
I was so happy to have my best friend visit me! I still feel so refreshed from her visit. She came alone on this trip and I was kinda bummed at first since i really wanted to see her kiddos also, but it worked out wonderfully. Thanks to my man - we were able to go out alone and have girl time we have not had in years! I love my dearest friend of 15 years. She's the kind of friend that if I ever died - she would be the one to talk to, to learn my deepest thoughts and desires. I am truly blessed to have such a friend!








Adoption??
Yes, I am crazy I just had my 3rd baby and I am already thinking I want another. In fact, as my neighbor was driving me to the hospital to have my sweet little boy I was telling her I was interested in adopting a child. Now, I have no idea how this will happen or if it will happen, but I am exploring more and more how this ministry might suit our family. It's really been in my heart since I was a teen. And while I could have more children on my own - there are so many children without homes and we have room for one. I recently came across this verse: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in thier distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27 The part about orphans really tugged my heart, but is this the time?? I have so many questions, thoughts, etc...any thoughts on this topic is appreciated!

Kid update
My oldest son is now in kindergarten and boy it's not like it used to be. And can I just say homework is my least favorite thing about school and we have just begun! To our surprise even being the younger one in the class he is doing great with school. He is reading and writing and my little man is just growing up!
My sweet girl is quickly approaching her third birthday. She is smart, sweet and hilariouly witty. She is doing better with allergies all together; however, we are praying that she is not getting asthma as she has had lots of breathing issues when in certain environments, w/ pets or certain foods. Everyday she prays to be better so she can have a doggie or kitty and eat eggs among other foods. I know God hears her faithful heart, so we wait.
Lastly, baby boy is doing great. He has the squishiest cheeks and and is so cute that I want to squeeze him till he pops! He is really trying to roll over and is so close, but ya know that darn arm always gets in the way. He is really the 3rd child that goes along with the fam and just chills.

aahhhhh....

it's been so stinkin long since i've been to my blog website. i feel like i have to wipe off dust and cob webs. life has been plenty busy since i last left off. for my own sake i must mention what i have been doing as this blog is to help me remember what goes on in my life as it is so fleeting.

there have been so many wonderful things that have taken place. we finally bought our very first house. thank you God!! i never thought it would really happen - then i found myself signing a gigantic stack of papers that i did not really understand comepletly. it was surreal. just for the record God was so there every step of the way. we put an offer on the house after 3 others. they stopped taking offers and then even though they had many good offers on the house including 1 cash offer - they chose our family. it was unexplainable - it was God & He granted us favor.

once we moved in we had so much to do on the house. i was 8 months pregnant and so tired. anything i did put me in contractions, contraction, contractions. still God kept that baby inside growing, growing. we got the house in some kind of order to the best of our ability and then it was time.....

it was tuesday and jesse needed to go to aspen to travel just overnight. just overnight! i knew that was not a good idea or good timing when i could have this baby any day. needless to say my water broke at 6:50am the next morning and jesse was 4 hours away of course! thank God for friends who came and sat with my kids for the day with out worry and for good new neighbors who had to drive my water leaking self to the hospital. God kept that baby in until jesse arrived at the hospital and as soon as he did i went from 3 cm. to 10 and had the baby with in the hour. (ya - the epidural never did work this time!!!)

in came baby number 3. i was instantly in love, but had forgotten about the sleepless nights! and this guy wanted to party all night long for the first month! did i mention that i also had my big guy start kindergarten. by the way why did no one tell me what a pain in the neck it is to drop off and pick up kids from school!!

all of those things lead me to the present. i feel as though i am finally getting a handle on life at least a little and at least for now. i have come to grips with the facts that i'm not even close to being a super-mom, my house is still a work in progress from the orange counter-tops to the daily mess from household stuff i can barely keep up with, i'm lucky to shower or to take a lone trip to the grocery store and the list goes on. bottom line is there's love in our house and we are surviving and that is good for me at least for now. :)